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| Workin alot lately, gonna finally fucking graduate. My cars runnin great. I'm feelin good, slowly losin some weight. I'm excited about college, but dont like the amount of money I'll have to give up for it tho.  I've been single for about 6 months. And I'm kewl with it. I'm in no huge rush to find a girl. If it happens, kewl, if not, whatev. I know I'm gonna miss all my friends that are still in skewl. I hope everyone takes care of themselves. I'm also gonna miss everyone who'll be going away to school. We've come a long way in four years together. But I think we're all happy to get out to the world. | | |
| I'm really tired of things never working out with any girl I date. I mean I have alot of great friends. But I'd like be able to find one thing, a good girlfriend..... I mean whenever I try I fail. So, I'm back to feeling how I used to, like shit, and like I'll never find anyone. I dont care anymore, I'm fucking tired of the stupid fucking idiots that surround me.  *sigh* No more will I search for love, fuck loves lazy bitch ass, love can come get me damnit! I'm not going to try and not fall for any girl, and just be regular piss and vinegar me to all. | | |
| So, I've come crawling back...... But only because Myspace is foolish and stupid people read my stuff that I dont want reading it.... Like one person is Allison Durst. She's from East Peoria and shes the daughter of my mothers Boss. And she is obsessed with me. I've told her flat out i cant stand her, but still she persists to bother me. I dont get it. I mean the girls that I hate end up loving me and the girls I love end up hating me. I dont get it.... I really dont. But geh, enough of that....
I've done alot of thinking lately, as per usual. I think alot about life and what it has to offer and how much of my life has been wasted on idle idiocy. I had a drug addiction for a while... and now I'm clean and I realize again how much most of life sucks. I still love music, listening to it, making it, I just love music. It can convey soo many emotions and feelings. And lately I really realized that some of the people I've dated didnt treat me the best. Sarah boling-dumped me the day of homecoming. Nicole Stone-dumped me for a douchebag in Connecticut. And a few of my other relationships just havent been that fulfilling. I think I like someone and they say they like me too, and we try and Boom failure time after time. I'm sick of it I just want a good relatinship with someone I really care about. And I've started to like someone again.... shes one of my closer friends and I really care about her and I dunno.... sometimes it seems that she likes me, and other times it seems she doesnt. I'm not sure what to think.... I wanna spend some time with her, and see if maybe I can relate to her how I feel, but I dont wanna rush anything..... Erghh I havent stressed this much about a relationship since I fell for rachel. Thoughts anyone?  | | |
| - OutsiderBeen quite a while since I've updated, felt it was about time to do so. Lately, school's already being gay, I had a girlfriend for about 2 weeks and then she dumped me cause she wasnt over a guy she dated 3 years ago, and she didnt wanna risk cheating on me when he came back for christmas (boy doesnt that make ya feel great). My cars leaking gas, which pisses me off, I'm losing weight for some reason, I think its my lack of will to eat due to depression. Everyone's talking about homecoming, and I'm dreading it because I'll be incredibly lonely, and probably end up getting really high or really drunk or both. I feel like I dont want to do anything anymore, I feel useless and worthless, and I havent done alot of my homework, but I dont care.... I'm tired of feeling this way.... Theres someone I like, but I dont know if I can tell her the way I feel about her, because I think she'd feel really awkward, and I dont want to lose her as a friend, and guh, because she's so beautiful and she's in band with me so I see her everyday........ Its beginning to kill me inside. Along with everything else around here. | | |
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